Perhaps it's the Mountain Dew Live Wire, but is it wrong to get up in the middle of the library and slam dance? It certainly has to be better than being knee deep in Geduldig.
I've been writing a paper. I was a history major in college, so writing a paper of any length should not be a huge problem. Yet, it is. When I'm writing a "legal paper," I get the sinking feeling I'm not actually writing english but rather in a foreign language I only have a rudimentary grasp on. This is the first time I've had to write a legal scholarly tome, and it looks like it. I'm not a member of a journal, and now I understand why. This assignment is part of my nebulous "upper level writing requirement." What this means exactly, I'm not quite sure. The consensus is approximately 20-25 pages of a publishable caliber. Realistically, will this be a publishable paper? In a perfect world in which I've given a great deal of money to a scholarly journal, maybe. Am I breaking new ground here? Hell no. If I wanted to break new scholarly ground, I would have stayed a history major and gotten a Ph.D. Looking back, greek architecture and Roman history seem to be a hell of alot more interesting than the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. Think I can fill part of the paper discussing the entasis of the columns of the Parthenon?
Exams begin next Thursday. My first exam is Friday. Due to the impact of this on most people here, it has become apparent that you must repeat every question at least twice, because the first time you ask the person is not listening to a word you say. People are thinking about transnational litigation, or shareholder derivative suits, or the rule against perpetuities. Normally mild-mannered happy go lucky people act as if they're possessed. The angry people are angrier, the snarky people more snarky. I am trying to keep an even keel, but they're trying to break me. Our professor just accused us of being fatalists. People are throwing themselves at the casebooks (which I suppose is better than throwing our casebooks...that comes later.) The printers are printing, the printers are jamming, the printers are beeping. Yes, we need a new tradition here. One that involves screaming and wailing preferably. The stress is so thick you can cut it with a knife. And as we all know, fatalistic law students should be kept away from sharp implements of any sort.
While it seems that most of my days here lately are odd in some way, yesterday may have topped them all. For those of you who remember, my grandmother died during exams in December. Among her last wishes were to give her body to science. She had filled out all the proper paperwork, and it was just a matter of calling a phone number and signing a paper. The Anatomical Gift department at that time stated that she could be in the service of the medical school for up to two years. Some of the extended family seemed oddly put out by her choice, but her children and grandchildren understood. Fast forward to the the end of last week, where my mother received a letter from the department informing us that she was done. It came as a bit of a surprise, but it is the end of semester and it makes sense. My mother and I came to the decision that I would pick her up, and yesterday the arrangments were made. So, shortly after Trusts and Estates, I headed out to pick up my grandmother. Earlier in the day I felt oddly conflicted about the possible experience, but mostly had flashes of every movie I had ever seen where the ashes of a beloved family member get loose. This was going to be a big responsibility. When I finally had the box in my hands though, it didn't seem so strange after all. It was a small box, wrapped in kraft paper, surprisingly heavy, with no marks to identify what was contained within. Normally I would have gone straight home, but my day at school wasn't done so I did what seemed to be the only decision I could make, I took her to school with me. I wasn't going to leave her in the car. I wandered the hallways to the library with the box in front of me, effectively giving her the nickel tour of my home away from home. We found ourselves in the library, with me introducing my charge to the assembled people in the Westlaw lab. How do you respond to this? How many students do you know bring the cremains of dead relatives to school? As time passed I felt proud of having her there. When I was done I took her to my car and we went home. She is now sitting in my living room. My grandfather would like her back. My mother will take her up there at the end of this week. I would rather like to take her to my exams. My spouse thinks she might make a great good luck charm.
I just had my end of semester judicial placement meeting. It took an odd turn early on. I had to explain what I had done over the semester. I explained that I worked on a forfeiture action and had decided for the government. This led the interviewer to go off on how I should be thinking about the client in the case and how the impact that such a decision could change their lives. I kept trying to defend myself and couldn't get a word in edgewise. This whole statement was laid on me without knowing any of the details of my case. I honestly feel offended that it's implied that I wouldn't have thought the case through before coming to a decision. As if I thought the entire decision was a flip sort of thing and not worth my time to realize the impact. I even had said that the clerk had decided not to go with my decision due to extraneous information that I had no reason to know while drafting the decision. Up to this point I thought I had done good work at my placement. I thought I had served my clerk well and produced a well reasoned and thoughtful decision. This "diatribe" (might be too strong a word, but I'm at a loss here) has left me scratching my head and feeling injured. At least I'm only 8 hours from the end. One last time sheet and I'm done. I guess I'm not cut out for this either.
I got to spend yesterday morning reveling in BarBri Corporation review. You have to enjoy someone who knows all the characters on the Andy Griffith Show. Luckily, I didn't have to stay for the 3rd hour since the material will not be on our exam. Now, if we can only get the reps to figure out what "tracking" on the VCR means. To actually watch the tape made me nauseous for all the jumping around, so I kept my head down and wrote occasionally. I'm still questioning whether I should go with BarBri since this tape didn't involve enough writing. I need to be engaged or my mind keeps wandering. I guess I understood Corporations better than I thought, since none of it made me question myself. It's pretty straight forward I think. Am I so far gone I'm delusional?
It's yet another Friday and it finds my day jammed packed with goodness. Got to sit in court this morning and listen to motions. It's always hard not having the papers to know exactly what's going on, but it's always fun to realize that the argument being proposed is totally off the wall. It's even more fun when the judge agrees with your assessment and informs the party of that fact. It always amazes me that I might have actually learned something in my classes and can understand actual legal arguments. We sit there and goggle at the proceedings and whisper amongst our selves and pretend for a few minutes that we are actually lawyers. It's fun. You should try it.
It's amazing what medication can do. A little prescription strength cough medicine and the world is a different place. Not being able to drive while taking it makes getting to school a little interesting, but it takes creative dosing. Either way, I'm coming to terms with this cold and the end of the semester all at once. Honestly, I'm scared about it. I knew it was coming but it's sneaky and it's right there. We still haven't even seen schedules for next year. It's hard to see the future when we seem to be tripping over our feet. But for all the traumas and strife that this semester seemed to have engendered, all you have to do is read this article in the New York Times about the 83 year old woman who is graduating from Syracuse Law. It's amazing what a bit of will, a pension and a few hundred egg sandwiches can do.
No, I do not have bronchitis. Yes, I do sound like I have consumption. No, I didn't get the job yesterday (and I know who did). Yes, I'm currently medicated. No, I'm not supposed to operate heavy machinery. No, I'm not allowed to drink as a result of said medication. Yes, that'll put a big damper on the reception this evening and the wine & cheese tomorrow evening. Oooh...I'm liking these side effects.
Interview went well, didn't hack and cough during it and I think I stand a good shot. That being said I bring you story I didn't tell you today. In Employment Discrimination class we are discussing the legal discrimination that is set out in dress and grooming codes by business. Some companies allow for very specific rules regarding facial hair on men and hair length on both men and women. In our textbook there is a small essay regarding the equity in wearing dresses. To paraphrase, it states that while men are not allowed to wear dresses, women are seen as separate and not equal. This brought up a discussion that revolved about sociological lines, most of which would not have been out of place in a graduate class in Sociology. I would say a great deal of it was posited by a person who would rather hear themselves speak than anything else, and as a result all I start hearing is "Blah blah blah...aren't I fabulous...blah blah blah." To keep the discussion alive for the rest of the class our professor set out this question: "What is it about men wearing dresses that offends the public at large?" The silence was deafening. Of course, I immediately came up with the only possible answer. Hairy legs. Yes, sexual equality is being held back in this country by hirsute legs. Think about any guy you know. Try to picture them in a dress. Now that you've stopped laughing, isn't that the real answer? Of course, I was too much of a chicken to actually give breath to this answer in class, but now I've told you. And here I thought I wasn't high-minded enough for law school.
Just when you thought it was safe...I'm interviewing again today. I've come to the conclusion that there are approximately 5 people in our class now without jobs and we're the group who just keeps showing up at Career Planning in suits until they tell us to go away. I'm sounding somewhat better today, but it's hard to tell after hearing only yourself talk. I can't ask my friend, because she just starts laughing every time I open my mouth. My interview today is with a small corporate law firm. I'm trying to get pumped for this, and also trying to get my coughing to a minimum before I go. I'm truly hoping I hear something out of this, because I'm not sure my ego can take much more. Of course, not hearing anything at all can be worse...I have two firms from late March I haven't heard back from yet.
I still have a cold, and it has now entered a new phase. I now sound like I should be saying, "This is CNN" or "Luke, I am your father..." Scary yes, annoying, even more so. I'm mildly concerned that I will develop bronchitis from this, since I've been down this road before in law school. Meanwhile my mother is terribly concerned that I'll develop full blown pneumonia in time for finals. Eh, enough gloom and doom for one Monday...pop another Halls and kick back. It's a beautiful day.
I feel I must tell you about the awful experience I just had. Keep in mind, all I wanted was a nice cool desserty drink. That was the ultimate goal. My spouse and I stopped by a local Dunkin Donuts and jumped into the drive thru. We were also nearly run over by a police car in the process, but that's another story. My spouse ordered a medium Vanilla Coolatta. For those of you who read regularly, you will know that I don't drink coffee. Neither does my spouse. When we came to the window, we were given a medium brown coolatta. I questioned whether it was a vanilla coolatta and was told it was. Upon drinking it (while still at the window) it was a vanilla coffee coolatta. We then questioned the person who gave it to us, only to be told if we had wanted a "Fruit Coolatta" we should have asked for a Vanilla BEAN Coolatta. Now, I have ordered vanilla coolattas nearly a dozen times including at that location and have never received a coffee coolatta. The window attendant proceeded to get very irate with us, insisting we tell him what it was we wanted, and then started swearing while getting our change. At this point, we just wanted our money back and wanted to leave, but no one was willing to do that. Another employee came to the window at this point and said he was sorry, but was not willing to give us our money back. Finally a woman came with a vanilla coolatta and we were able to leave. Of course I now fear what has been done to the coolatta. But seeing as how we'd committed $4.00 and our personal safety to the cause, we must see it through. I will have my revenge though...I just submitted this experience to corporate. Beanie will not be sworn at.
I too have just finished watching The Apprentice. I had a feeling Bill was going to win tonight, and it turns out I was right. Things we have learned from this: George is a laugh riot who thinks Jessica Simpson is beautiful. Loyola is in Chicago. Kwame should have sacked Omarosa when he had the chance. The Donald cannot read cue cards. Bill just committed a crime by driving away in his new car with no seat belt.
This is the time of year where small children have the week off from school. Normally, people have babysitters who take care of such things, however in law school, people find it appropriate to bring their small children with them. Perhaps it's the misunderstanding about this being school that students find it okay. Call me cynical, call me an angry childless bastard, but this is not okay! I pay a great deal of money to go to graduate school...I do not do this to visit a day care center. Do not allow your children to take over the lounge and turn it into a child fort and bogart the television. Do not bring your child to class and allow them to come and go as they wish. I do not come and go as I wish in classes. I do not have snack time and watch DVDs in my 8:30am class. I could...but that would be rude. Do not allow them to be here until 9pm watching cartoons. It was your choice to come to law school...it was your choice to have children. Cope with the consequences of your actions. Find a babysitter, or stay home.
Wow, so this is what it means to use the law for good instead of evil. This is so a lawyer after my own heart.
For my judicial placement there is a classroom component that meets on Wednesdays. It's taught by a judge. Since it is a judge it has to meet really early in the morning in order to accommodate the judge's schedule. Luckily I actually enjoy this class and I don't fall asleep. The class is a loose discussion of issues that come up in our placements, and occasionally a guest speaker. Today we learned the following: being pro se is like being your own dentist...if you pull out your own tooth and get an infection, tough sh**. That if you're clerking for a judge you should write like a judge and not use the words "I think" or "The court thinks" or "Assuming arguendo". That juries are allowed to ask questions of the witness on the stand in Nevada. This is also true in Indiana. That there should not be a higher standard when bringing a TRO against a governmental agency. And most importantly, that there will be a plot twist on The Apprentice and Troy will win. (This is merely conjecture by the judge.)
Have you ever had one of those evenings where you stayed up late not because you absolutely had to read, but you got reading and before you knew it it was 2am? Amazing but true. However, when one of those evenings is followed by an 8am class, this does not bode well for my continued consciousness while in class. Oh, I won't fall asleep now at 8:30, but come 2 or 3 this afternoon, my head and the desk will be connecting. The problem today arose when I was in that half-awake state, wandering about the home trying to get ready for class. I have cured the majority of this by packing my bags the night before, but when things don't work out the way you expect... For instance, I picked up my bag this morning that was lying against a closet door. Upon this simple action, I removed the bottom hinge pin to the closet. This was a definitely unexpected consequence. A normal awake person might question this out loud...an angry person might swear at said door. I, in that sleepy state of mind proceeded to stare at the door. I did this for about a minute, trying to comprehend what just happened. Once this processed, I was able to replace the pin and go about my business. Though looking back at it now, how the hell did I do that?
For those of you who remember a previous post about giant shrimp on Mars, I bring you news! Seems that Long John Silvers is going to give us free shrimp anyway! However, you better queue up since they're going to be available for only 3 hours. I'll make sure I'll leave my studying for my Products Liability exam for this.
I felt lazy this weekend. Too many things to do that I can't get a handle on what to do first. Procrastination has gotten its foothold anew. I need to get a handle on the small things at least to feel like I can do the rest. Of course given that I've got tons of things to do, the mind turns to cleaning the house. My spouse busts on me for procrastinating this way. Thursday afternoon found me cleaning the bathroom. The living room needs vacuuming desperately. So, its either stay home and clean myself to failure, or hole myself up in the library to stay away from the dust.
Today is Good Friday. Because of my hour requirement for my placement I am working today at the courthouse with my fellow interns. This isn't necessarily a bad thing since we're a happy little band and enjoy spending time together. At lunch today we decided to enjoy the moderating spring weather and eat outdoors. Of the three of us, one is celebrating Passover, one is celebrating Holy Week and I was able to discuss the truths and practices of both since I in all good faith celebrate neither (pun not intended). As a result, the dietetic requirements of the holidays required a chicken caesar salad with no croutons, a Greek salad with no meat, and my choice, a gyro. The consensus of the group, I'm going straight to hell. Yup, and I'm taking the tzatziki with me! Which level of hell is the one for the gluttons?
Street signs are everywhere. Some are informational, some are scolding. However, they need to be followed. The signs do not have your name on them personally, yet somehow you really need to heed the signs. For instance, when it says "State Law - Do Not Block Side Street" it means don't block the side street. It really doesn't need to say "Hey Bob", or "Hey You In The Buick", it just says don't do it. If it says yield...yield. Do not speed up. Stop is a lovely red sign, and if it says it's an all way stop, it means you too. While I believe that my car may be invisible (I'll really try not to buy another car in white or silver) I do have a horn and am not afraid to use it. In the meantime, read the signs. This being said, do not hit your brakes in the fast lane on an interstate at 75 mph to read the signs. It causes the drivers behind you to have a panic attack. That is all.
If you're going crazy, do you realize it? I feel like that little round blob on the Zoloft commercial, with the cloud hanging over its head. Last night at 1:30am, I woke up wide awake. I then spent the next three and a half hours trying to talk myself in going back to sleep. I watched the Food Network, an episode of Futurama, a strange anime show on Cartoon Network, did some reading, all without any success. I'm getting like this 4 weeks out from finals, I'm in deep trouble. Luckily I had an early morning class cancelled, so I'm only mildly zombie like. As much as I would love to graduate this year, in a way I'm glad I'm not because I feel so far removed from actually being a lawyer as humanly possible. If it were last year, I would chalk it up to the midweek freak out that seemed to happen on Wednesdays. I've heard people say that they're really getting the concept now as second year students. I feel like I'm going in reverse. Is it possible to get dumber in law school? It's either I actually get all this and it's boring me to tears, or it's so above my head that I'm not even grasping it in the most basic sense. Ah, I think I need a nap.
Yes, yesterday was not a good day. While I seriously debated on whether to post what I did yesterday, I think it was a statement that needed to be said. I know I could have kept things on a private channel, but I felt it necessary to make the point that I want things to be this way for a reason. The tone may have been brought about by another thing that happened yesterday shortly before I posted. Harken back a few days to a mention that I made about a callback interview. In that post I had commented on how I really wanted that job and thought it was a great opportunity. I also posted on how it had been rescheduled at the last minute. Well last week came and went and I hadn't heard anything about a possible reschedule, so I emailed the employer. Kept a very professional tone, but was openly curious as to why I hadn't heard. Well the answer came yesterday. Seems they aren't hiring summer associates this year after all. I was kept on the hook for a callback for 3 weeks only to be told this. To say I was angry and upset doesn't begin to effectively describe how I felt. I figure if I hadn't emailed I would still be waiting. So now the hunt begins anew. I'm really running out of time here, and yesterday I just moped. I was sick and depressed and angry and sniffly and tired. But isn't that just a sign of law school?
For my faithful readers, you know that I take great pride in my anonymous nature. I've cultivated it over the course of a year, and have engaged in self-edits of my own posts in order to keep this persona intact. While I'm sure that some of you may have figured out where I am and perhaps even who I am, you've kept my secret and I thank you. I don't feel it necessary to know where my fellow bloggers are, but rather that we're all in this slog together and we'll make it through. Where am I going with this? One of my readers seems to think it's okay to out me to rest of the blogging world. I've already had to edit a comment here because of this, and now has taken it to their own blog to try to define themselves by letting people know where they are. I take umbrage at this. If I wanted to tell the world where I am, I would. This blog would be totally different as a result. However, this is a choice. By doing what you've done you've taken that choice from me. While you may believe you know where I am, it's another thing entirely to tell everyone else. If this continues, I may have to give the blog up. I laid awake in bed last night thinking about this and am honestly concerned about what this knowledge may do in the future. So please, if you want to ask me personally through email if you're correct in your guessing, feel free. Don't post it on your blog. This is bigger than you. Thanks.
Coming up on another Monday, I figured I should take some time out of my sneezing and nose blowing to give you all something to read tomorrow. What's to tell? Not much...changed my clocks like the lemmings we are and have pretended that I'm now living in a new time zone. Perhaps I'm now Canadian? Spent the day watching various racing events, most importantly F1 Bahrain. Nothing like $150 million for a facility for driving fast in the desert. Also, the Freeview on DirecTV this month is Blue Man Group: The Complex. If you've never seen Blue Men it's interesting to say the least. I saw them once at the Luxor in Las Vegas, and it was one of the best uses of $85 I've found to date. The TV program only gives you a hint of what the live stage show is like, but it's still a bit of fun, and it's free! In the meantime I will leave you with Rock Movement #6, two arm upward thrust with yell. Ready...go!
Looks like Grandma's up to trouble. But to scam your own lawyer? That's low.
Seeing how I'm coming up on my 1st birthday of Screaming Bean I've decided to come clean once and for all...here goes: I'm a woman named Carol who goes to Quinnipiac. I'm not married and have 3 kids. I'm actually on law review and have lined up a fabulous job for the summer at a Biglaw firm in NYC.
APRIL FOOLS Y'ALL! (All except the 1st birthday of the Bean that is...)