In the days afterward, I have to take my enjoyment where I can. Running simple errands, trying to get my haircut...these are the things I can do to take up my time. Of course trying to get my haircut on a Monday is harder than I thought. Lots of shops aren't open on Monday. Who knew? In the meantime, I bought a new exciting device. I know I've said in the past I don't drink coffee, and this is still true. Perhaps it was the problem in law school, but that's water under the bridge. I do enjoy a good cup of tea and as you may or may not have noticed, the one-cup coffee machines are coming out with tea delivery devices. So the spouse and I bought ourselves a Keurig. It's an awesome thing. You put in a k-cup that looks like a coffee creamer, and boom, in less than a minute you get a fully brewed cup of tea. No fuss, no tea bag. Even better, it also gives you hot water when you want it so you can make hot cocoa or pot noodles. Today, the UPS man brought me 4 boxes of k-cups, so I can make tea to stay awake for days. I'm having some right now.
So now it's the weekend and the house is cleaner than it's been. There is less laundry too. But less Olympics. I swear by the end they were making up sports to kill time. I still like curling though. I liked it last Olympics too, so I'm not one of those jump on the curling bandwagon people. Now, to get a job and find my self esteem again. In the meantime, if you want to feel stupid like me, take this test.
And again it's over. Was it harder this time around? I think so. The essays yesterday were surreal and bizarre, and the MBE today was quirky and difficult. Yesterday evening I felt like I had been hit in the head by a brick. Today at lunch we all just sat around muttering about why this sucks. I had moments today where I felt like I hadn't studied at all. Once again, it seems like a total crapshoot. The highlights were not hitting "the wall" during the second hundred MBEs...and the fact that I had the table to myself since the other taker never showed Tuesday. The proctors and the coat check guys were very personable, and I got to see all the people that I knew who were in the same boat as I. It was a pseudo reunion and it was good to commiserate. I think this time I'll hedge my bets and not totally put the notes away.
I want to thank all of you for your support. It does mean a great deal to me. For those of you who are going through this too, lets walk in there tomorrow with our heads held high, pens at the ready, and all of the notes we read in our brains. For one last happy thought I leave you with this:
Let me get through this alive...
And even if it seems contrived,
I know things, or so I'm told...
And instead of July it's now wintery cold.
Twice should be all, of this I am sure
And there is nothing a pass won't cure.
I have my ticket, my pencils and pens.
I have the encouragement of all of my friends.
So I write once again, this time is a keeper.
Because come May, I'll not be a weeper.
(This post was inspired by a question from ambimb. When I posted this, the original post and comment went up in smoke. So I found a copy of the post and put it back. It's all about continuity you see...)
Yes indeed the exam begins Tuesday. I have 6 essays on Tuesday plus 50 state multiple choice questions. Wednesday is the MBE day. I just finished reviewing the predictions for the essays, for what they're worth. Unless the committee totally goes off the rails, the essay topics are pretty limited. Still, I worry that I'll be mediocre again. It's a case of not totally getting the gist of how it's supposed to go. This is the same problem I had in law school. Understood the law just fine, but when it came to explaining myself on paper? Conclusatory statements, short- circuited legal thoughts and not enough writing. I only had one instance when I seemed to get the magic formula, and I've spent the last few days reading old questions and model answers to get that feeling back. I think I know more law this time. I have covered all the topics at least twice, if not three times. I've used materials from 3 different review programs. I've done hundreds of questions. Still, it comes down to the niggling feeling in the back of my head that the same thing could happen this time and what then?
Mom asked today if I were nervous. I told her no. I have more mundane things to worry about. Namely whether my house will be left standing after this windstorm. It flipped our picnic table (not a little plastic one either), the neighbor's basketball hoop, and the newest casualty, our satellite dish. Between the curtains moving and the house creaking I heard this metal tearing sound. Didn't even get the opportunity to say, "What the hell was that?" when the TV started searching for a signal. The wind took the dish and wrenched it 180 degrees from where it was, so it's now pointing upside down. So much for hockey. So much for anything really. Hopefully when the spouse gets home we'll risk our lives and try to point it in the right direction again. Mom warned me to put rocks in my pockets if I go outside. I can see why. Thank goodness for underground utilities, otherwise we'd have all sorts of other problems. Yes, I do like my easements, I do indeed!
Still holding on here. The spouse did some work on the Tivo last night, and the stutter seems to be gone but the bad signal is still around. However, we can now actually Tivo a program without it getting corrupted halfway through. Perhaps it was a sign from the Tivo gods that I should be studying all the damn time. Time to dig out a quart size Ziploc bag and my stash of earplugs.
Happy Valentine's Day! I know some of you dislike the holiday, but I've always been a big fan. We don't actually go out to dinner on the 14th though. Instead, we cottoned to the idea of going out on the 13th a few years back. It's far more relaxed, the restaurants are far less crowded, and you usually get the same specials as the 14th. Yesterday was no exception...had a delightful French meal, split a bottle of Pinot Noir, enjoyed the drunken buzz caused by the wine, and split a lovely dessert. Tonight? Grilled cheese and tomato soup. Not as romantic, but just as tasty and a heck of alot cheaper. A little chocolate, a couple cards and voila, the holiday is complete. And if you're lucky enough, you too can fit in over 6 hours of studying. Wow, nothing says love like discussing the vagaries of divorce and child custody. Mmmm...romantic.
Things are not good here at the home of the Bean, and it's not even because I get to do the Bar over again in a week. No, it's much more self-serving than that. We have DirecTV satellite TV. We've had it for 3 years. Up until a month ago it was the best thing since sliced bread. Cheaper than cable, we have a Tivo, and we hardly ever lost signal or had any problems whatsoever. That was used to be...as of late it's been downright maddening. Call it pixelation, call it stuttering, call it glitchy, call me late for dinner, the signal for our local channels has been horrible. It's like trying to watch TV while hiccuping. The signal cuts and stutters losing frames and audio. When I watch the Tivo, it gives the machine fits and makes it go to half-speed. If you're watching at the time, the only fix is to change the channel and then change it back. If you happened to Tivo a show, the rest of the show is screwed up. The SuperBowl was problematic to say the least. Oprah? Like watching her on the web. But tonight was the worst. Try and watch snowboarding when every time they do a trick the signal botches. Shaun White's prelim run? I think I saw the first trick. All the rest were gone like the wind. I couldn't take it, I had to turn off the TV to keep from yelling at the screen. I know, I should be studying not watching snowboarding, but dammit this is only once every 4 years! Why DirecTV, WHY???
I've been watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics tonight. I have always been an Olympic junkie. I particularly enjoyed the 70s and 80s tunes during the march of nations. Quote of the night has to be from Bob Costas: "If they play Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes, my night will be complete." It sounded as if someone had taken my iPod and thrown it on the soundsystem. You were doing the YMCA at home, I know it. They were saying that the Americans don't get as keyed up about this Olympics as the summer version. Of course just now I had no idea that the torch was lit. No real warning on that one. But I digress. I have an idea to bring excitement to the Winter Olympics. Bring back the 1984 McDonalds promotion. I know I'm showing my age here, but stick with me. In 1984, you went to McDonalds and you got a playing card. You scratched it off and got a sport. If we won a gold medal, you got a free Big Mac. If we won silver, free fries. Bronze? A free soda I think. Think back to the 1984 Olympics though. It was in Los Angeles. The Soviets didn't show. We kicked butt. We were awash in Big Macs. It was the best summer ever. Give Americans free food riding on the cross-country skiing or luge outcome? They'll watch. It's free food! Bring on the curling and the ski jumping! Woo!
I found what I'm supposed to be doing after all! Thanks to E. McPan for this one.
I looked up my admission ticket today. I like the seat number, if not the location. It's a different spot than the first time, which is a good thing. Bad memories and all that. This new location has some good memories for me. I've been there before under happier circumstances and it should give me some good vibes. Now just to dig in and hold on. The days grow short.
I can't say my life lends itself to compelling blogging these days. I get up, eat english muffins and soup, and I study. The only compelling part of this is that non-Thomas's english muffins suck. They do not resemble english muffins save the shape and coloring. There are no nooks and crannies, they're roll like. But I eat them because they are there.
I've given up trying to study at home because I suck at it. Sitting at home, any room in my home, is a study in distraction. I could light a candle. I could vacuum. I could clean the bathroom. And what about that growing pile of laundry...or dishes...or junk mail. How the heck did I get through college and law school living at home? Yeah, I should go now. The siren call of household chores is becoming too strong.