The long weekend is over. I go back to work tomorrow. I'm coming to terms with what happened this week. This time was a different experience, but I'm not sure it was a better or worse experience. The essay day felt good, but law school was no gauge of that for me. I'm hoping I caught lightning in a bottle like I did once on a Family Law exam. All the red herrings stood out like neon signs for me that day. The MBE? Well, if you've been reading the take on that exam from the rest of the country, it's a joke. I've taken it three times now, and this one may have been the worst. I did more practice questions this time too. All of the easy points were gone. No wild animal questions. No M'Naugten. No golf questions. So who the hell knows. In the meantime, back to marketing. I have two weeks of work to catch up on. Let us see how many hours it takes me.
Yes kiddies, I survived the experience once more. Two days, much teeth gnashing and pulling of the hair. 3 cheese sticks, 3 bottles of Fruit2O, a submarine sandwich and some sushi and it's over. The essays went better this time, I think I actually may have gotten something out of that class after all. MBE though? That was evil. I hate how stupid that part of the test makes me feel. I can read the question 5 times and still am like, well it could be B or it could be D. It's bad when you're answering on instinct. But the scary part, no matter how much I let my mind wander or read the question for the tenth time, 100 questions takes me 2 hours. Yup, you read that right, 2 hours. I try to read slowly for comprehension and all that fun stuff, but it figures for 50 questions an hour. I freaked out the proctors twice today. I don't mean to, it just works that way. Anyway, go out and drink it up peoples, I'm off to the wilds to play golf. For those of you who aren't through the woods yet, keep your chin up and hold on tight.
Today is the last day. You'd think this would be old hat for me since I've been through it twice before, but this time it's different. I'm far more nervous this time. Is this a good thing? I don't think so. I don't feel ready, I don't feel well, I'm an emotional and physical wreck. I've been reviewing all weekend, but it doesn't seem any more ingrained than it was before. I feel like a human sieve. I've got to go to the grocery tonight and get "quiet snacks" and pack the magic bar bag. You know, the Ziploc delight. Got the passport, earplugs, pens, pencils, Advil, and some highlighters. Just need some cheese sticks, lunch, and put plenty of bottled water in the fridge. Luckily, where I'm seated I can leave my stuff in the car, so I can pack an entire cooler. In the meantime, to those of us who are about to embark on this living nightmare, good luck and we'll see you on the other side.
Home sweet home. Never were three words more relevant to me. The third day was comparatively mellow. That being said, I still muttered expletives on about three occasions. You know it's sad when the highlight of the morning was the yakisoba I had at lunch. We covered torts, real property, and crim law/pro. Yeah I learned some things, developed my hate, refused to give her any sort of warm and fuzzy testimonials, and booked the minute it was over. Imagine, she wanted us to give her releases for our written testimonials? Yeah, if my name hadn't been attached to the paper I would have really given her a piece of my mind. I didn't give her a release. I paid for that damn course, you want my testimonial? Give me my money back.
Day two in the bag. I must admit it's a damn good thing the acoustics in the room are so bad, otherwise I would have gotten kicked out a long time ago for muttering expletives under my breath. Today was Wills and Domestic Relations. And I actually knew these two since I took a course on each one. I even got to stand and deliver regarding the residence requirements for a matrimonial action. And yes I did it without looking. Although I nearly told her to go to hell first. It's the demeaning nature of the whole thing. When she informs the Japanese student who can barely speak English that he's "not ready for prime time," I just want to hit her. Is it truly necessary to keep informing us over and over again that we're nearly out of time? We know that, and yet we're putting up with her. So, I listen to my iPod during the breaks and get all punchy and go back to it. And right now I'm supposed to be memorizing other crap for tomorrow. Yeah, so not doing that. Screw you! Screw you I say!
You know it's bad when walking around yesterday the one thought that keeps flitting through your head is, "This must be what it's like to be living on the sun." Today was day one of three. It was just as hot, but I didn't care since I'd be inside. It was a brutal day anyway. It was a horrible experience, and not just because I didn't think I knew anything. It gave me flashbacks to 1L contracts. We even had people stand and deliver. My lunch got ruined by having to force memorize 6 boilerplate statements regarding the UCC. A good chunk of the afternoon we had to watch a DVD, with the teacher in the room. What's the point of taking a live course if you're going to watch a DVD? All that being said, I did learn things that I may or may not have known before. If I can get even a point on each essay, it'll be worth it. Just right now, it's like living in air conditioned hell.
I head out tomorrow for a three day class in essays. Yes, I sucked it up and spent the cash to spend three whole days to see where I can make my essays better. I have my reservations, I have my hotel room, I have to pack... So that's the plan. Take this class, work the essays hard core, in the evenings in the hotel with nothing else to do, work the MBE questions. In the in between times (i.e. traveling with nothing else to do) I'm working my flashcards. I think it's easier than trying to pack a bunch of Barbri books. I have questions on the laptop, my outlines are on here too, so I'll pack this. And hopefully, if the high speed connection works, I'll be able to read my email at the hotel. So on to excitement and huffing around with suitcases in 100 degree heat. Go me!
Today is my last day of work before the Bar Exam. Between the class I'm taking next week, and my sanity, I thought it would be best to take this time off. It's sort of odd, I'm a temp at a law firm, and the word is getting out that the reason I'm not going to be here for a bit is because of the Bar Exam. That causes a buzz. What can I say, I'm a highly educated temp. All in all though, I'm really glad I went back to work this time. Of course, in November I may think differently, but it made me feel good to work. After two failures, the ego was
a bit bruised crushed into dust. People here seem to appreciate what I do without judging me, and I like that. I've gotten words of support for what lies ahead, and I don't want to disappoint. Onward and upward...and the job will be here when I get back.
In one of my more lucid moments, I came up with this little ditty. Sung to the tune of the Oscar Meyer jingle:
I do the questions everyday...and if you ask me, why I'll say....
That Barbri books just have a way,
"Screw it, I'll just make it 'A'."
Knee deep in the madness. My stomach hurts. People at work try to get me psyched up to do this again, but I'm not so sure it's working. I keep having flashes of signing on the website and finding I didn't pass. Positive thoughts just seem so far-fetched. I'm taking a three-day essay intensive course next week, but that seems like the least of my worries. I think I'm covering more material this time, but who's to say? It's impacting my sleep and my spouse. I toss and turn all night, every night. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Well maybe I would, but they'd have to be a really rotten human being. Off to find some Maalox.
Don't you hate when you think you've spotted a drag queen only to later discover, after additional furvative glances, it's actually just a mannish woman? It's almost as bad as thinking a person has to be pregnant only to discover they're just really fat. (This also happened today.) That's what happens when I go to lunch. That and having to look at someone's lower back/ass tattoo in Hebrew. Nice touch. Happy Friday to you too. It's time for me to get back to reading about Evidence.
I had a bad case of the invisibles this morning. You know the type, you're driving along and then someone pulls out in front of you like you're just not there? Yeah, counted 4 cases of that this morning on the way to work. And the kicker? I couldn't blow my horn at the old bastard who pulled out of the McDonalds with his Caddie doing all of -2 mph. Why? Because it didn't work, that's why. Instead, I looked like some sort of lunatic beating my steering wheel senseless while cussing like a sailor. Yeah, that's how I roll.
Maybe I'm cynical. Maybe I just have a cruel streak. But tell me I'm not the only one who, upon reading that Ken Lay had died of a massive heartattack thought, "I wonder if he's really dead, or maybe he faked his own death to keep from going to jail."
Happy Independence Day people! We didn't do anything special here. In fact, we didn't even seek out a good firework show. The day was rather quiet except for random roman candles in the neighborhood. And now that I think about it, it's quieter than it's been here in years. Maybe because it's Tuesday. All I know is, three day week man! Although given the short amount of time before the exam, that shouldn't be something I'm celebrating. A few quiet days at work may be just what I need after all. I'm trying to keep calm here, but in actuality I'm internally freaking out. Hell, I don't even know where I'm sitting for this thing.
I've tried to be consciencous about doing my studying. I do my reading, try to do at least 40 questions a day, and try to cover all the materials I have. I swear though, it's like digging a pit in quicksand. Doesn't seem to matter how quickly I dig, it fills back in as quickly. And if I'm not careful, it'll just suck me under. So I decided it would be best to take some time and play some golf. I hit some of the longest drives I've ever hit today. I also can say I got my first par on a regulation 18 hole course. I have the ball to prove it. Up to this point, we most play pitch n' putts, but had never played 18 full size holes together. I'm tired. I don't know how the old people do it.