Screaming Bean - Everyone loves a Bean!

About Me

name: Beanie
age: 35
email: bbbeans@yahoo.com

AT THE MOMENT

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No. 634
think like a woman. act like a man.

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Screaming Bean

Monday, September 11, 2006

I spent most of the weekend dreading coming to work today. No real reason I could give, I just didn't want to go. I now realize why. It has to do with September 11. I'm going to tell a story now, and feel free to skip it. I know I haven't told it before on the blog, but I thought today would be appropriate.

I was at work on September 11, 2001. I was working as a paralegal in a small firm. I was sitting at my desk when the first pop-up came up on my screen. I had MSNBC News Tracker as a download, and the first story that morning was that a plane had crashed into the Trade Center. The story was quite nebulous, but it was believed at the time it was a small plane. I told some people in the office, and went back to work. It seemed only minutes later, the pop-ups became insistent. No, it wasn't a small plane, there were two planes now, the other tower was hit, there were multiple hijackings...it just went on and on. I ran down the hall and told the partners what was happening. I was the only one in the office who knew. We found a small black and white TV and the managing partner just stood there, slack jawed looking at the screen. I ran back to my office and called my spouse. He knew now too, and we both wondered aloud what we should do. (For the record, neither of us worked in NYC.)

Normally, the story would end there. However, it was what happened next that left the greatest impression on me. While standing in the lobby discussing what exactly was happening, one of the other partners came out and insisted that we get our pleading done right that moment. It needed to be FedEx'd and sent overnight to make the filing deadline. I wasn't even that partner's paralegal, but I remember saying, "Sir, they've shut down the airports, there's no flights anywhere." The response was, "I don't care, it has to go out today!" To which I responded, "Sir, you don't understand, the court will be closed, there will be no filing of anything." The partner turned around and went back into their office. Time had passed, and there was great concern that there were planes still in the air, and schools were being evacuated and sent home. My spouse had called to tell me the plant was closing and that I should come home too. I voiced my concern to the powers that be, and was told in response, "We're not going anywhere...go back to your office." What I didn't know at the time, but learned later was the rest of our building had left due to a possible threat across the street. We stayed put...until 2:00. The city was a ghost town. There was no traffic, there were no people. The staff wasn't getting anything done, we just kept fielding phone calls from concerned family wondering why we weren't home.

It was that day that I realized my firm didn't really care about us as human beings, but just a means to an end. We came to work to service their needs, and our needs just didn't count. Panic, fear, concern, it all didn't matter that day...we were supposed to act like nothing had happened and to keep typing. It all changed for me that day. I knew I didn't want to be there anymore. The partner I worked for made comments about my change in attitude after that, but no one seemed to understand why I was so angry about things. I left in 6 months, not because I was fired, but due to my disillusionment. I could never get over that feeling of abandonment and callousness. I should have left. Looking back now, I would have told them to screw their stupid filing.

I know this seems horribly self-absorbed considering the events of that day, but that's what happened to me that day. I hope I never have a day like that again.

handed down by Beanie at 9:48 AM || |