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Yup, I'm alive. Not that there's anyone left to read this. But something told me to stop by today and update this long defunct blog. Sadly, I have no good news to share. I am still unemployed. I've added a bunch of committees and organizations to my resume, but nothing that has led to a real job. I read a quote the other day that some people seem to feel that they've been deceived by their career. I would have to say that I fall into that camp. Though, I have a hard time feeling like I was ever a lawyer. I had a job, but now it doesn't even seem like I ever used my license. I renew this December, but it nearly seems pointless. I'm still here. I have no job.Labels: job
I realized today it was nearly 2 months since I last updated here. Things are about the same as I last left it. Still unemployed, but still enjoying life. I've gone to 3 CLEs, done some volunteer work I would not have had the chance to do, and done a bit of writing. The state is still paying me unemployment, which is the upside of the stimulus package. In a warped sort of way, it's the first time where I've actually gotten something back from paying in to the state. This is not to say that I'm not trying though. It seems almost goofy to say I'm an unemployed attorney. People seem to understand given the business I'm in, but it leaves most people scratching their heads. If nothing else, it gives new impact to the condition of the economy that even someone like me can lose a job. I'm not exactly a blue collar assembly plant worker. But anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for all the support I've gotten. This blog has given me a lot of support over the years. And I'll hang in here until there's an end to this story. I owe you all as much. Thanks!Labels: CLE, job
Well I didn't realize how prescient my last post was. Within a week of that posting, I too lost my job. As everything else at that job, even the layoff did not go well. Instead of just being forthright and saying that we have no work I'll have to let you go, it went down with me being called into the office and being forced to try and justify my continued existence at work. Within 30 seconds I could see what was going to happen and while justifying my work ethic and my commitment to the clients I worked with, I illuminated the issue that my boss seemed to take offense with me trying to serve the clients in a timely fashion. Unsurprisingly, it did not go well, though it was a stunner to hear that my boss did not appreciate efficiency or responsiveness. I knew I was done. I didn't go down without a fight. I insisted on a letter of reference and that I would not be fought on my unemployment benefits. To say I had thought this through before would be an understatement.
So now I spend my days being domestic, looking for jobs, and making dinner. My spouse thinks I'm in a better place now than I have been in 2 years. I would have to agree.Labels: job
Suffice it to say I didn't get the job. Lovely ding letter, but I came up short again. This has put me in a bit of a funk, so I haven't been blogging. Nothing good to say I suppose. Bit of Twitter, which is a huge timesink, and more Facebook nonsense, but nothing good in my professional career.
Today I try a different tack and go to a meeting this evening that may allow me to get more involved in the bar association even though it's not exactly supported here at the firm. I've got to do something since our work has nearly dried up. I fear for what the future holds for my job. Nothing of my own doing mind you, but when our attention has turned to having pointless meetings in the hope of drumming up non-existent work, it's not looking good. Blah.Labels: job
I have an interview today! The firm is moving quickly, as I only put my resume in last Thursday. Heartening, most definitely. Scary, nearly as much. I've been practicing my questions, working on introducing myself so that I don't sound like an idiot, and trying not to get stuff on my suit at lunch. This would be the first interview I've had since I started working with my coach, so I hope this works. I have been paying attention in our meetings, but it's another thing all together to actually use the skills. Now, if I could only get my hands to warm up.Labels: interview, job
Yesterday was my review. I'm still employed, so I guess that's a start. Our bonuses were pared back considerably, but since I got considerably less than everyone else last year, I didn't have that much to be pared. But of course, this all came at a cost. It seems I can't write. Or at least that was what I was told yesterday. Now mind you, my boss seems to think good sentence structure involves a paragraph-length sentence with serial commas. However, I do not write on the level of an attorney. I am supposed to take courses to that end in order to bring myself to his level of competency. I was dumbstruck to say the least. Especially when I was also told that my choice of vocabulary also is not at the level he expects. What do you say to that? Excuse me, just because I don't find your use of herein, therewith, and heretofore useful does not make me an incompetent. No, instead I just sat ramrod straight, teeth clenched, and did not as much as twitch. I tried to go to my happy place, but it didn't work. So now, not only do I hate my job more than before, I now doubt myself. I think that's far worse.Labels: job
I came clean to my job coach today that I blog. I think he was concerned that this blog may be impinging my job prospects, but I said, "If they figure out who I am based on this blog, I give them a lot of credit." Now, don't anyone take this statement as a challenge. I'm happy in my pseudo status and have been for a good long time. I am continuing to work on my escape plan...otherwise known as job search. I do feel confident that the plan is working, it's just a matter of time. In the mean time, I keep my head down and await the next diatribe. Or even better, next week's review. I'm not holding out any hope that there will be any thing fun coming out of that...in fact, my bet is that there will be no bonuses, and the economy will be used as an excuse. Not that we're hurting for work, it's just convenient to screw us all out of money. Eh. We'll see. In the meantime, hope the new year is going well for you and that you're writing 2009 on your important papers. I keep getting screwed up by Excel when trying to put in last years dates. But I'm a lawyer, not a data entry operator.Labels: job
Yes, indeed Beanie is one whole year older. Wiser? Not necessarily, I'm still working at the same job. In fact, tomorrow is my 2nd anniversary here in hell. Makes me feel like my 33rd year on Earth was a bit of a downer. But on the bright side, I'm healthy, loved, and live in a lovely home. Can I really hope for much more? So here's to 34. Here's hoping things are on the upswing and we're on to bigger better things!Labels: birthday, job
I'm so bad about keeping up with the blog these days. I'm on Facebook a lot, and honestly it's much easier to dash off a one sentence status than pouring out my soul here. Though, the blog is much more cathartic. And it always has been, which is why I started it in the first place. Nothing new on the job front, though in this economy, am I not surprised? I'm trying to work the networking, with two events in the next two weeks. However, for me, networking is like dental work. I don't want to go, and then when I'm there I just do the wallflower-sipping-a-drink thing. I'm not a bon vivant by any stretch of the imagination. This has got to change, and tonight it starts. Though just the thought of going tonight fills me with dread. I'm so lame.Labels: job, networking
I know as I get older I stop blogging as much...heh. Actually I don't blog as much any more mostly because each of my blog posts are a whine fest. Yeah, work sucks. Yeah, I'm trying to do something about it. Of course, I couldn't have picked a worse time in the economy to try and do this. At least I have a job. Either way, I just keep on keeping on, and hope for something good to happen, and work towards that end. In the meantime, it's my favorite holiday of the year this week...Thanksgiving! Of course, I haven't bought a turkey yet, but I have some potatoes and the beginnings of some stuffing. And gravy....gotta have gravy.Labels: job, Thanksgiving
Everyday for the last week or so, I've asked why I am here. Here, being work. Like today for instance. It's Veterans Day. (Thank you veterans!) Me, I'm at work. Why? I have no clue. With banks closed, none of my deals can close. No fed, no wires. So instead, I sat around doing personal tasks in order to keep myself from going slowly insane. I straightened out a medical bill. I networked with two fellow attorneys via e-mail. I applied to four firms. I read a book. I stood and stared out the window a while. Now mind you, our boss is AWOL for most of this. And therein lies the problem. We are all dodging the boss these days. The boss has gone wackier than in prior months. Won't work on any of our trades, putting us in perpetual hold, making all sorts of insane requests, been moodier than...I can't even come up with the rest of that phrase. That's how bad it's been. Billables have been non-existent. And I'm sure I'll catch the brunt of that later, but in the mean time, no one wants to approach the boss to find out what the hell is going on. And I plain refuse to beg to make people do their work. It's not my job. Especially when that person is the boss.Labels: job
My reward for my vacation? Being buried alive in work. One of my fellow associates thought that perhaps they needed time off too and took off the week after me, leaving me with not only all the work of mine that had sat around, but theirs too. After having a meeting with my boss in which I was given more work than 3 associates should have, let alone me, I blew my stack. I brought up the fact that everytime I go away, all my work is left to fester and sit, but when anyone else takes time off I'm expected to do all my work plus all of theirs. The response? That's the way it is. In other words, get used to it, you're a slave around here. I promptly came down with a head cold, which due to the situation in the office, I can't take any time off for. Not that I have sick time anyway, since I was roundly chastised the first and only time I took a day off sick, and have been forced to work through stomach flu and other ailments that even a minimum wage worker would be allowed to go home for. I know I should blog more, but it's depressing and now with the country going to hell in a handbasket, I may be stuck here in perpetuity. Yeah.Labels: job, sick
So I took a week's vacation for the first time since April. I will suffer for doing this. Not only is my car in the shop getting door actuators repaired, but it seems that my work was put in some sort of perpetual loop while I was away and absolutely nothing was done with anything. So now I'm buried alive in work. Now when anyone else goes out on a vacation I'm expected to do all their work plus my own and not complain. When I do it? My work can be ignored.
I also had an interview yesterday for a firm that I interviewed for back in July. To say that was awkward doesn't begin to describe the 20 minutes I spent. All the standard questions were already answered, the other person in the room had not seen my resume prior to me handing it over the desk, and had absolutely no idea who I was or why I was there. How many times do I have to say, "I have no experience doing litigation" before it sinks in? I'm not going to lie about it...I don't have experience doing litigation. This is not to say I can't learn it, but it's not like I'm going to wake up one morning with the knowledge to do detailed litigation magically in my brain. Kicker? Upon further research by me after the interview, the person who interviewed me has only been there a year, was admitted the same time I was, and I'm going to be considered junior? Yeah, the offer is probably not forthcoming on this one.Labels: interview, job
I took the radical step of getting myself a career counselor. I see it almost like work therapy. I have tasks to do to make myself accountable for my career quest, and each week we meet to discuss what needs to be done and what has happened. For the first time in a long time, I actually feel hopeful about finding a firm/office that fits who I am. I want a career, not just a job. That's why I went to law school in the first place. This has just been a 2 year detour methinks...I'm eager to get back on the highway.Labels: job
The trip was great. We got to see the ocean, eat lots of good food, spend a couple blissful days at a B&B, and even got to visit a new winery. Of course, before I even made it back home I received a call from work and was told I _had_ to come in early to put out fires that my boss couldn't or rather wouldn't handle. So I sucked it up and came in early, only to have my boss not show up for another 45 minutes. Was it necessary to come in early? No. Was it something that couldn't be handled when I normally arrived? No. Was it worth ruining the very last dregs of my three days off? HELL NO.Labels: job
I'm having a meltdown today at work. I've taken abuse for doing my job in an efficient manner, taken abuse for asking a question, I've had to beg people to do their jobs today, and gotten blindsided on other tasks. I feel like I'm going to throw up, want to just sob, and get the joy of having all this happen without my boss not being in the office yet. When the boss shows up, it's going to get worse. I think lunchtime requires a trip home to just cry in the peace and quiet of my living room.Labels: job
It's a three-day weekend! Sadly, our friends in Louisiana aren't enjoying the same weather we're having. Here's hoping the levees hold this time. We've been lazing about here, went to a fair yesterday and ate baked potatoes and funnel cakes. Mmmm...funnel cakes. Anything is better than work, and a three-day weekend is what has gotten me through the last 2 weeks. This is a busy week coming up, with my in-laws dropping by to visit, a memorial service for my grandfather at the end of the week, and 3 days of work to contend with in the meantime. Also, trying to do some research on Cape Cod, as we're taking a trip at the end of week for our anniversary. Never been there, so it's a blank slate for us. In the meantime, kick back, relax, and enjoy a bonus day off.Labels: anniversary, job, labor day, vacation
Fast forward 12 hours, and I'm doing the same thing, even though the secretary is working today. Because why would you have a secretary make changes when you can make the associate do it? Occasionally I'm told to "try my hand at something" only to have the paragraph excised in total on the next round of edits. I wasn't even allowed to sit down this morning at my desk before I started taking crap from my boss. Now mind you, I've done nothing wrong here. Unless of course, breathing and merely existing is doing something wrong. Which, by this point of the day I've begun to think may in fact be a problem. How much does it cost to be placed in a medically induced coma?Labels: job
I sit because I wait. I wait because my boss procrastinates. I wait further because I have ceased to be a lawyer, I'm a secretary. I get to turn my boss's edits to a document that ceased to be anything I wrote 4 hours ago. Literally, there is no sentence in the document that hasn't been rewritten in some fashion. Some of it I understand totally. Some of it is just turn of phrase, which makes me extremely angry. The resulting document is nearly unreadable gobbledygook, all because we need to add 15 million legal gewgaws to make it look lawyerly. Bryan Garner it ain't. Not my idea of a good time either. Since our receptionist/secretary left nearly an hour ago, I get to play phone answerer/secretary until hell freezes over, or until such time I am bid adieu for the evening. I paid 70K for a piece of paper and took the Bar Exam three times for the ability to be a secretary? Yeah, I'm feeling bitter.Labels: job
While watching the Olympics has seemingly taken over every evening of my life of late, I have a week of appointments ahead. I get to go to the dentist, which I hate with a passion, even though I have good teeth. We'll have the whole "We need to take x-rays" talk, and then I'll remind them that they just took x-rays and that it really is not necessary. There's one dentist in the office who is desperate to do cosmetic work on me, even though my teeth are perfectly fine and not the least bit crooked. It's a necessary evil I know, though I'd love to tell them that sending out those postcards with my appointment on them is against HIPAA rules. Where's the "Personal and Confidential" hmm?
Later this week I have a lunch appointment with a career coach. After getting dinged thoroughly by 4 firms in the course of a month, I need to regroup and see what's going on. There's someone locally who works with people to effectively market them to get new jobs. I'll see if it does me any good to sign up. I'd go back through the law school for assistance, but I'm not convinced that'd do me any good. I wasn't exactly top 10% of my class, so they look at me funny. Either way, it's good to get a second opinion.Labels: dentist, job
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